Oh, Bother

• The Internet can spell-check me now. Do you know what I say to that? Funk you Internet! Maybe I just have an inexplicable desire to do a Google search of “the causes of the colt war”. Don’t judge me.
• This is a special shout out to Microsoft Word for auto-correcting the socially unacceptable yet highly relevant word “fuck” into “funk”…I kid you not. (See above rant on spell check).
• Here are some things that I would like to be, but alas, am not:

-Irish (What do you call someone who is obsessed with Irish culture? It’s not fair that Anglophiles get to have their own terminology!)

-An archaeologist of ancient civilizations (…I’m working on this one)

-An owner of a magnificent library (see this example and this one, but minus the old woman in the Hogwarts uniform)

-A ballerina (the George Balanchine kind, not the “I want to be a ballerina when I grow up” kind…although I think I have a better shot at the latter)

-Cured of my colloquial turrets (eg. “Dude”)

-To be continued (as in: this list will be continued at some point in the future)

• School sucks and there is neither an original nor quirky way to say this.
• The uppermost part of my index finger on my right hand is slightly bent to the right…how annoying.
• I recently had the misfortune of attending a guidance meeting about college and my “future” with my mother. Words cannot explain.
• Tomorrow is pi day and I wonder if pi tastes like sinful blackberries wrapped in heavenly crust, laced with the taste of warm honey and rhubarb, drizzled with…oh, um, I mean Happy Pi Day!